Friday, March 26, 2010
Debate of debate
Argument is a nature of the human being. Everyone has to argue about something! Actually, people LOVE to argue and debate! Why do they? Simple, because they feel they are right, powerful, and important. Is there anyone do not want to be? Sure, we all do, we all want to. Because it satisfies a need for our emotions, it energizes our spirit. However, when you look at a conversation between some friends, as a spectator, without interfering with it, you find out that they are not talking, arguing, or even debating! No, the realty is very ugly. You find out, with one word, they are dictators! Each one is trying to control the other, trying to hunt his (his or her) FLAWS! (That is our job), trying to embarrass him or her, trying to make him or her look wrong, they just keep trying to do that and even a lot more. What makes things even worse is that there is no reason for it! They gain nothing; they have no goal of this whole fight. They are not trying to solve a problem, to reach perfection (as we do).
No, they just fight for the fight. Then what? Well ... I do not know! What I can say is useless conversations. Worst of all, what I was talking about happens between those who are fighting (debating), but are we all doing that? Well, no, there is another part of this funny group plays a strange role of this event. This part contains people I call them, the Eye Witnesses, because that is exactly what they do. They look at those who are fighting. They saw everything and done nothing! (At least does something prove you are existed) the only activity they do is staring right ... then left for hours looking at the talking guys! Someone may say, maybe they do not know what to say? Ok, but acting stupid is an insult for the others who are talking. That comes from a simple reason. For example, how would you feel if you are talking to a statue, not only one, but a lot of them? This person is completely useless because he or she makes no difference in his or her life, in his or her community and for sure to those statues! Anyway, back to those statue people. When you look at them (imagine someone you know always does that) while you are talking to that second, they would be staring at you doing nothing or at least nodding their heads! Later when your opponent talks, they would be staring (again!) at him or her, few minutes later, looking at the floor or at an empty glass on the table! What do you think? Are they really with you or they are in Alaska now? This is disappointing; you are talking and talking while they are not listening or even caring. So what is the point from this whole fighting? The fact is nothing! At this point there is no reason for the debate, not only from one side, no, from both sides, fighters and watchers both don't care about the point of the debate, if we assumed there is one! The debate has no goal; the way we do it. Every time we debate... well, fight.
Example from my life, my friends and I used to meet once a week. So as usual, we started a debate about something we share in our lives. After we had spread out, I had found out that we had not reached anything, we gain nothing. What makes it even worse is that no one of us had won. Actually how can we say who did? Who is the judge? Well, this is the flaw we should fix, which is the way we debate, the reason and purpose of it. To be more practical, we should (first step) find up a reason of debating, the purpose we want to reach from this whole thing. This way our argument would be heading into one direction in order to reach the purpose we have created. For example, if you and your friends were talking about iPad, you should have a certain purpose and reason for all this argue, which it will be, would you buy it or not. That is the point. You should ask yourself “why are we talking about iPad?” the answer of this question is the reason and purpose you are looking for. Another thing is the result. There should be standards you can compare with, so you could know whether you should buy it or not. However, these standards should come from you. You are the one will create it and compare with it because you made the reason and purpose of this debate, and you are the one will be effected with the result then the decision. One last thing and it is very important, who is the judge? Obviously, from our example, it would be you, but the point is every debate should have a judge. Who compares the results and arguments from each side; this way no one will control the other, no one will exceed the limit or even insult the others, and of course, he or she will decide whom the winner is, and what result will be all this debate.
Finally, debating and argument is a healthy need for all of us. That should be controlled well and based on a basis to get results from it and to be useful, not only wasting time for nothing! After all, everyone will leave, not happy, or pleased, or satisfied, because he or she had done his or her best and showed the main point of view without insulting or embarrassing.